Until this year although I grew up Catholic, went to church every Sunday as a child (mainly because my parents dragged me there, never paid any attention to the actual service. Most Sundays my mom had to take me outside because I was laughing too much and disturbing the people around us, being an annoyance). I don’t think I ever put much thought into what created us or if there was more to life than what I saw in front of me…. I take that back, I do remember as a child my sister and I would talk about what was there before us…. a black hole, darkness, air, where did the trees come from, the sky, the animals, people? How did all this around us come about. I’m not even sure if my sister remembers those conversations but I do. I guess inside I figured there had to be someone who created all but again not sure if I had faith.
Growing up loss became normal, a part of my life, every year someone died or several people. Some from diseases such as cancer, Aids, disasters, car accidents, drug overdoses, suicide, etc. I used to have a strange reaction towards death, I don’t think I really cried I felt more sadness and pain, feeling the emotions of the people left behind. Until I loss my brother-in-law at the age of 32, he was more than my brother-in-law he was my brother, family member, my good friend…..so unexpected and that was the death that rocked my world. As I watched my sister and her 1-year-old son pull the pieces together I questioned if there was a God and I was angry. I had lost faith in faith. As the years went on I used to talk to my brother in-law often as if I knew he was still around, I prayed to him more than a God, asked for signs and always received them (never jolted, never shocked when the lights would flicker on and off, or the fan would go crazy, the blue dragon-fly that hung around our house and came in one night and sat on my husbands finger as it tilted its little head and smiled at me and we just knew it was him). The strange thing is even then I still didn’t think much about if there was life after death but I never questioned the signs either, I would ask, always receiving, smile and say thank you. Maybe back then I just thought it was wishful thinking that I just talked away after each sign was given, like most of us do.
At some point in everyone’s life I think it is natural to wonder are Angels really real? And just like me it is usually asked when you lose a person that holds a special place in your heart (or several people). Hoping to receive something, a sign, anything, desperate to reconnect in some way. So how can we talk away what we ask for and then are given, knowing there are too many of us that have seen or experienced something that couldn’t be explained. But now I know without a doubt that there is more than what most of our physical eyes can see….God, Angels, Ascended masters, Arch Angels, beings of light energy. I’m still not sure if I believe in one organized religion but now I do have faith in a higher power and from my daily experiences I can tell you Angels are very real.