Oneness, self-love, self-care, time for oneself is high on the list in order to truly give of yourself you need to have enough to give. When you are depleted, defeated, exhausted, you are not present in the moment. Your physical body is in the room but your mind is going in a hundred different directions. Kids are very intuitive and pick up on things around them very easily. When their parents are unavailable emotionally, they may begin to question their own self-worth and value. Wondering “Why are mom & dad so unhappy? Was it something I did?” So they will either act out, just to receive attention or withdraw. And then begins the cycle of self-doubt, self-criticism and their imaginations may run wild with the racing thoughts of “What did I do to make them so upset at me?”
Children are very sensitive to the energy all around them and aware of what is going on but may not fully understand why a parent is distant/upset or sometimes be more aware than the adults in their lives. Just because they are little does not mean they do not have a deeper understanding. Teach children to love themselves, to know their worth at a young age. And just because you made a child does not mean you own them or can treat them like a trophee to exploit around and take credit for their accomplishments. Let kids be kids, allow their creativity to flow, recognize they are their own person. Your job as the parent is to love them unconditionally (without condition), try to keep them safe, fed, clothed and guide them when guidance is needed but allow their true personalities to shine.
We do not like labels, but whether bold and outspoken or shy and introverted, all traits can be looked at as strengths. Never push kids to veer so far off from their true selves that they conform and mold into who they think they “should” be or who everyone expects them to be (especially to live out some unfinished dream or desire of your own that you did not accomplish, they are not an extension of you either). You will find if you do not stifle the child, he or she will be confident and thrive in this world as all are meant to.