For over the past year my journey began when I wanted to understand what an Empath is because of my children. And I wanted to help, I wanted to fix, to heal….I dove so deep into all of it. Completely consumed by information and in the process I began to find myself. They were fine, I was not, through my projection of all my fears onto them I created distance and separation, in trying to protect them I was hurting the people I loved.
It did not fully hit until recently that the reason I have struggled with relationships my whole life from friendships, to romantic relationships to the rebellious teen and young adult self, work relationships (always choosing the same bosses and work environment). Is because I am an Empath, a highly sensitive person. The relationship I struggled with most is the one with myself. Never understanding why I felt I couldn’t handle the normal day-to-day life without feeling defeated, depleted, anger, resentment, anxiety…so much negativity but yet I was always the fun-loving girl. The one that could turn a funeral into a party, enjoyed life, took chances, was always ready to explore, said yes to having fun. And then things began to feel so hard.
My deep hurt wasn’t mine all the time, I was surrounded by love my whole life but put up a wall or at least tried to because their pain became my pain. I did everything I could to numb this pain, avoid feeling, but I still soaked it up. We are all addicted to something and although I judged other’s for theirs when you have to face your own it’s like looking the devil in the eyes. And it will make you feel like it will forever have a hold on you but once you can look yourself in the mirror and admit to your own personal demons I see you and even in my own steps to release you no matter how big or small the steps may seem it no longer can rule your life because the person who wants you to face it, is you.
During my breakdown I had episodes of traumatic memories replayed in my mind, my body, the fear was so deafening it was more than my system could take. Our moments that frighten us the most, that shake us up, that stop us are telling us something. If we don’t stop and listen, take notice and start looking within and what the people around us are showing us in those moments we lose out on life’s biggest lessons. The events in our lives are teaching us so we can grow, evolve, otherwise what is the point? Why did a love one choose to leave if we didn’t learn from their loss? Why did we experience a wake up call if it doesn’t make us ask bigger questions, of why are we here? Is there more to life than what I see or know? Do I have a bigger life’s purpose than what I am doing now? And if so what steps do I take to know that purpose?
Begin by going within, sit, stop, listen, take notice because if you have had these experiences consider yourself lucky. If you are reading this it’s because the Universe needs you to choose love and share that love with others. To be part of the much-needed uncovering, unfolding and release to know you are a light to the world and your light is needed now. And if you too are an Empath, a sensitive person and have felt like sometimes life is too much to handle, know that there is a way to make this your biggest super power, your greatest gift. I am finally at a point in my life that I love and embrace my gifts, I feel deeply and can help heal on a deep level as well. Contact me below for soul transformation healing.