The Collective Shadow

During the Dark Night of the Soul there was a voice I heard that taunted me, it told me what it looked like to induce fear in me. It was half man and half beast, it’s feet were huge covered with long shaggy hair, it looked like a monster and if I made eye contact with the beast I could be possessed forever (or so it told me). I would try not to look, as it said “I’m standing behind the curtain, go ahead look and you will see me”. As I took a quick glance I could see the curtain bulged out and it said “don’t look down or else you will see my feet” and when I glanced it laughed like a child, saying “you can’t see me, I fooled you”. The TV was on and in trying to act normal in front of my husband as The Big Bang Theory played, me starring blankly at the screen, not hearing any word of the show because I was internally battling the beast, my internalized fear. It told me it would go into my subconcius mind and begin to bring things up that I had hidden, one by one memories, secrets, shadows that I had pushed away that caused me to feel guilt, shame and pain. Like the death of my brother in law, things I did as a young adult, as a child, my fear of spiders, addiction, sex, parenting, mistakes I made, and when I couldn’t take it any more I threatened the beast by saying I will tell my husband what was going on within my mind and the beast knowing it would loose it’s power and hold over me the moment I spoke up, reminded me what would happen if I shared and told “your husband will have a heart attack and you will have another stroke.” I began to feel my arm go numb, and my face began to droop as if the beginning of a stroke, and in my mind I agreed, ok I won’t tell. I had become a prisoner to my own fear, my ego, my lower self, a possession due to giving up my power to the part of me that thrives off my secrets, shame and guilt, that if left unattended becomes so large like a scary entity. The part that we are so afraid of facing but that will unconsciously control us like a puppet until we do.

I share this story because this feeds off of our shame, fear, guilt, our secrets that we hide but all share. Right now there is a collective death going on, the death of the Collective Ego, this part of ascension that is so painful, it’s where we loose most of our physical assets, jobs, homes, relationships, money, ideals outside of us that we made real by placing a lot of value on them. That come to the surface so we can be stripped down to the only things that truly matter. This is where old programming has to breakdown, literally! Where we will feel abandoned by God and the Ego will try to hold on for dear life, will have us doing things that seem so insane and out of character in ways that people around us may not even recognize who we are any longer because it’s not you.

If we understand this, perhaps we can have empathy and compassion towards the people in the world right now that are playing into the fear, reactions based on feeling locked up, controlled, out of control, loss, lost, scared and confused. The fight, flight, freeze survival mechanism is large at play but the more we are aware, the more we can connect to our Higher Self, the True and only Self, the more we can surrender to the process, and let go of the illusions that we made from this false world that has nothing that we need or want.

The New Earth is a new way of thinking, a shift in perception, an opportunity to thrive in a higher frequency of Quantum energy where we are no longer controlled by the puppeteer, the Ego. The 5th dimension allows for complete alignment with God, with Love and to let go of the love that we have redefined and made out of control. But now there is a connection to true, pure Love of our Soul, our higher self, our God Self, the only one Self that exists, again everything else is an illusion that we have made. Take your power back, go within, and become the alchemist of life.

There are many ways in which we can do this. Begin by being extremely curious, ask Why constantly, question everything. Journal and write your feelings out on paper. Meditate, exercise, walk outside, shut your phone down and the news off. Get still and get in touch with that part of you that wants you to grasp the opportunity to heal and rise up above the midst of all the chaos.

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