Give yourself permission

Begin to really look at your habits and what you do on a day to day basis. Where do you focus a lot of your time and energy? Where are you energetically? Are you physically at home but your thoughts are at work, with your kids, your ex, etc? Are you a person that feels it’s not right to sit (equate that to laziness)? Do you have a difficult time giving yourself a break? Do you feel guilty when you rest as though if you are not constantly moving than you will get in trouble? Have you ever complained and used the phrase “I feel like I’m a slave to my kids or spouse” (could be that you actually set up a slave contract prior to incarnating that needs to be broken). If so, it’s now time to become aware of our patterns and intentionally do the opposite. In the middle of the day you could stop the busyness, lay down, take a nap, watch a funny show, read a book, do the opposite of what you normally would do and allow yourself to rest.

Give yourself permission to do nothing (what feels like non action is really a huge energy shift towards self-love). And ask your soul to help you with this, ask why do I have such a hard time allowing myself rest? The answers are there, you may receive them while walking, in meditation, doing the dishes but once you begin to ask, your soul will provide you with the answers because all the answers to your questions are already within you. Usually if you are asking a “should I do this ______? What I’ve been told is if I am asking it is usually so. Something to think about. The same goes for the opposite if you are a person that makes excuses, spends a lot of time watching t.v. or doing nothing perhaps it’s time to move your body, go for an intentional walk, clean out a draw or closet.

We cannot change our habits by continuing doing the same things, we need to either add or subtract something in our lives and we cannot receive the answers from the same consciousness that created the “problem”. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well this is similar to that and although I don’t think we need to be hard on ourselves while trying to make these positive changes, as it has been so deeply ingrained in us to the things we do. Change is not easy but possible.

Subconcious Beliefs

I have taken a moment to step back even more, to dive deep and do the much needed inner work, a time to really slow down (I didn’t know it was even possible to slow down even more), to be with my family, to continue to exist, be and in this beingness I have found that I am whole and complete. That despite the break from “working outside of the home”, a lot of internal work has taken place. There is no manual to life but when we connect with the true self we are our greatest guide, we can remember our truth and unlearn the beliefs that no longer hold true, no longer work for us, we tap into our intuition and allow The Universal Energy to guide us (knowing now we are the Universe).

I have felt the Universe within, the collective, the ups and downs, the sadness, anger, fear as well as the love, the expansion and through a lot of self love and radical self care have experienced the integration of the Ego, the falling away of the false belief system. Can step back and be the compassionate witness. The ascension process that I’ve heard so much about has literally played out within me from descension to working my way up. I have ascended from inner pits of hell the ultimate fear to heaven the ultimate love. I have never read the bible but my understanding is we are “it”, we are the stories, the stories being metaphors for how we ascend, how we live life, to be the co-creators, the masters of our own lives connected to source. As we all are taken on this journey through ascension there may be some fearful emotions that come up, life may be difficult, or you can ride the wave surrendering the whole way knowing all is here and showing up in your life for you to help you.

Either way, now I understand when I was told by my higher self, the highest aspect of self, my guides and Angels (which are really all layers and aspects of me, of self here to help on this journey of remembering) that I am a seed planter, a way shower, a light worker. I realize I am exactly where I need to be so I can help someone that may be a day behind me, a month, year, etc to help bring guidance and healing into their lives. Realizing with every channelled message written or spoken there is a healing frequency that comes with it. I was told I would heal with my messages, sound, color, in many different ways. But it wasn’t until my breakthrough in May that I now understand what that means. In the midst of it I was told to go to my blog, as I was in extreme fear I began to read and something amazing began to happen, I began to lift up, raise my frequency, I was wrapped in an orb of light. I was being shown part of why I am here now.

The attached audio was recorded a couple of months ago (after a lunar eclipse) but goes so perfectly with this message I am ready to share now. Since then there is so much I want to share about how I have gained so much more inner strength, feel amazing, balanced, free and joyful (and you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff that has taken place, it’s like a test from the Universe to show me once I really truly love myself, have a solid consistent practice that includes Kundalini Yoga, amongst other tools and really committed to my wholeness, the outer world stuff can’t touch me, it no longer rocks me because I know the truth of who I am, my power and my worth).

Thank you for being a part of my journey. I love you! So much more to come. Exciting!!!!

Celebrate theDivineFeminine (May the Month of Mary)

To all my beautiful perfect women and girls on the Planet. My sisters. I hope you know how loved you are, how powerful you are, how perfect you are, how whole and complete you are just as you are. May you find solace in knowing that this a time for us to rejoice, to come together, to stand fully in our soul’s truth.

I have a connection with the Divine Mother and although I thought this connection began with my awakening, this connection has always been there. On so many occasions the room would fill with the smell of roses, the way her loving presence showed me how I was already embodying the Divine, the way she whispered ” Go within and you will find purpose”. I would be awoken at night to her speaking to me, bringing me from fear to love in a quickness. Her reassurance that everything will be okay and to always remember “You are my daughter and I Love you more than you know”. Her presence is powerful and over flowing with unconditional love. We are all connected to her and many other powerful, loving Goddesses, Masters, women that have pathed the way for us now. To fully embody what it is to be a beautiful Divine Being in form.

I used to say the Lord’s prayer every night and at some point it began to dawn on me that as I did the sign of the cross “in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit” the Mother was missing??? This baffled me so I would add “in the name of the father , the son, the holy spirit and the Divine Mother”. I could feel a shift take place that brought up feelings around how women of the past were treated (seemed to be left out, or at least in the Catholic Religion that I grew up with, there is little mention of women). We all have a gift of intuition and as a woman if you feel shame around it, most likely you were considered very powerful and a threat due to your gifts of creativity, to using your inner knowing. Around this time last year I had past life experiences come up, of men coming after me, wanting to take my power away. Experiences of feeling and watching from the eyes of Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene as they watched beloved Jesus on the cross. I felt their pain, their sadness and saw through the eyes of Jesus as well as he watched his mother and his beloved watch his soul leave his body. When I asked, “Why am I seeing this?, how could I be seeing and feeling this?” I was told to stop crucifying myself. Stop beating myself up for my past, for who I am, all the guilt and shame I had built around being a feminine woman, around sex, around my body, around motherhood, in so many ways I was crucifying myself over and over and over again. If we are not aware of another way, another option than we do what we are conditioned to do but there is a place within us all that knows what is truth.

This is why it is so important to become conscious, to ask questions, to know what our motives are around our actions. Is is old programming, old teachings that taught us if we are in a woman’s body, we are lesser than? That taught us that there can’t be a healthy balance of both the masculine and feminine energy that is within all of us. Within each of us, we in form can embody both and celebrate both of these energies equally, as well as the gender we have taken on in this lifetime. All I know is as I become more and more aware, I can now look at my husband and celebrate his strengths and look at myself and celebrate mine as a woman.

I hope every women knows how worthy she is of love and can love herself with great grace, beauty and wisdom. And the hope that every man respects women and can see the great power she holds and the power we gain as we work together and not against each other.

Last year as I was doing a lot of inner healing a moment that I felt I didn’t know where to turn I prayed, the light began to get really bright and almost change color, as the room had a golden hue. I picked up a pen and began to write, my heart expanded so big I felt I was in the center of it and as I did I smelled roses. This is the message from Mother Mary that I received to help heal the inner child:

I want to release her of any fear and sadness by asking her Angels of the love and light to surround her with the light of pure Divine Love, to Zero her out of all that does not server her, all that does not belong to her, to allow her to breathe, with every in breath expanding the love within, directly connected to the purest form of love, bliss, joy.  Knowing this is the sweet spot, her birthright, to be able to connect directly to source, to connect with her higher power, surrounded and protected with pure Divine light at all times.  Until I can show her how to do this on her own to empower, cleanse and uplift her.  As her Divine Mother, she is released of all guilt, worry, shame, doubt, negativity, into the light to allow her Divine team of the light to dissolve all negativity, transmuted into pure positive loving energy.  Grounded in her truth of who she really is, a beautiful, confident, loving being of light herself, a diamond star that shines bright.

Staying Balanced/Grounded (1st chakra: Root Chakra)

Image found online

We have many chakras within our body and in our subtle energy bodies as well. The seven main chakras, when balanced will have us feeling great joy, empowerment, love for self and others, feel connected to each other, feel in flow, life can feel easier, synchronicities are easily spotted like the Universe is constantly connecting the dots for us and bringing forth what we need next at any given moment. Abundance in all areas of life is felt, our awareness is broadened, we can take moments to pause and not be so reactive, feel a sense of total wellbeing, whole and complete. We can breathe long deep breaths, feel relaxed, grounded, energized and just have the total mind, body, soul connection in perfect coherence.

Think of our seven main chakras like spinning wheels within the body and the spine is what connects them all (the central location/ central nervous system). Imagine a tube of water of light that encases the spine that is in the center of our being it drops into the earth and connects to the light at the core of the earth and goes through the body out through the crown of our heads up above and connects to the light of the heavens to the source of all creation. This tube of light and the water that flows wants to be free flowing a constant, peaceful movement like a river. If we are out of balance it means the water is either stagnant, moving like a tidal wave, has a rock or boulder stuck blocking the water as if now a dam has been created that is about to blow because the pressure of the water has built up. The water needs to be constantly changing, moving because energy is constantly changing.

I never truly thought about how energy worked until the Universe began to show me how we are all energy, energetic beings. To many that have a difficult time understanding how can energy healing works? This is my attempt to try to explain it and our emotional centers, our chakra system in the simplest terms possible. We are made of mainly water, water being one of the greatest conduits for energy to flow. So I use a water analogy quite a bit. And if you compare our emotions to the storms, the stillness, the peace, the beauty of different bodies of water such as the ocean, lakes and rivers you can see how we are not different from nature but intertwined and very much part of what we see in nature and the cosmos every day. When a storm is brewing inside of us, we can also see how that is being played out in weather and what is taking place on a broader scale and going on collectively. There is so much that we know instinctively without having to go outside for our information because all our wisdom and greatest knowledge is within us.

Much of what I write is from experience, is my inner wisdom just working through me to get the messages out. To help others understand that there is not just a select few that can tap into this, we all can. Just sometimes we need to weed out the garbage first and allow our life force energy the chance to work through us to create the lives we always wanted, to feel free from fear and not let it get the best of us. We all have the capability to self heal and I have experienced this and witnessed it first hand. As an energy healer, I am not healing anyone I am just holding space as I witness God/Source heal and awaken your inner healer.

The Root Chakra is our first chakra (it’s our home base) at the base of our spine, the legs and feet. Our root chakra helps us to stay grounded, think of your self standing like a tree. If the trunk of the tree is rotting, weak and the roots are not well nourished the rest will not grow, it is not stable. The root is what gives us our stability, helps us feel safe, secure, a feeling of walking on stable ground. If we do not have a solid foundation than things can crumble literally and metaphorically in our being and in our life. Our root and lower chakras are where our family stuff resides. So if there are undealt with emotions, fears, insecurities, than unfortunately we can feel like the world is against us, have lack of trust in the outside world which really is lack of trust in ourselves. Fear and old negative family beliefs are running our lives. When you begin to strengthen your root chakra, the base and foundation of your being and your life with flourish like a well rooted and grounded tree.

When activated we can walk our talk, get on our life’s true purpose and path, create our own unique life experiences from a grounded place. So stay grounded, go outside walk barefoot in the grass, sit at the base of a tree, go into the ocean, play in the sand, take deep breaths and most importantly begin to take notice of the unwanted patterns that may stem from your families beliefs that perhaps they taught without knowing why (inherited unwanted family patterns) and if it doesn’t hold true to you then begin to create your own belief system, one that feels authentic to you. Write and journal your fears, insecurities, where your lack of self worth may stem from, old childhood wounds that you shoved deep, get rid of them.

Acknowledge they are there because most likely they are showing up in difficult ways whether you like it or not. Take time to meditate on them, use quiet time to breathe through these painful moments and memories. It can feel scary to face them but I have learned that if we don’t they will continue to show up in uncomfortable ways. When we make space for the pain, we can then release it so we are not constantly living in panic, fear and chaos (not knowing when it will show up). I meditate but realized recently that with intention during meditation I asked for my pain and sadness to show up in those moments during meditation so I could acknowledge them, allow them to surface at that time with the intention to let it go. This way I created the space for the pain so it wasn’t showing up during inconvenient times, like spending time with friends, at work in the middle of a meeting. Or out of the blue having panic attacks because again this part of us just wants acknowledgement and our bodies want us to be healthy, it wants us to heal and is trying to let us know now is the time. Isn’t it nice that you can actually make that time rather than it taking over you.

I love Reiki energy healing because it works to rid the body on many different levels of old stagnant, stuck energy and allows our life force energy to free flow the way it is meant to. If you are feeling stuck, contact me to schedule a session.

New Moon Energy

As we enter into this New Moon energy of May 2019. Allow the light streams to lift us up in vibration, to embody more of our Divine truth. Allow the streams of Consciousness, the downloads to awaken us to our next level to embody compassion, to be the witness of the beauty that is life, as Heaven on Earth. Call in love in every moment, to be the Divine I AM being you truly are. Let love flow in from above, below and all around us. Stand fully in your Soul’s true essence. Now is the time to allow your mind to rise up into your high heart and be as one.

Resurrection & Rebirth

Thinking of Easter, as I have never before truly thought of what it means to me prior to my own “Resurrection” last year. For most Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Christ.

As we are in Spring, a time where all that dies comes back to life, during Natures slumber, rest and transformation, what is taking place under the surface, deep within seedlings doing their thing, caterpillars going through metamorphosis. All that is displayed, blooming and is shown on the level of Nature is what organically and naturally happens within and through us. Many are going or have gone through a death and rebirthing process to uncover our truest nature.

Jesus’ resurrection a metaphor of what is happening within and all around us to rise above and bring a new, a new perspective, creation, action plan. We are all being called in our own unique way to Resurrect.

I Celebrate me

Today I celebrate myself, my kindness, my big heart, my quirks, my goofiness, my creativity, my thirst to uncover the answers to the big questions (my inquisitive mind), the fact that I follow my heart more than the Ego’s limiting rapid stream of thoughts that are untrue. I celebrate my gifts of connecting to a higher power, my intuition, to Angels, that I can clearly hear, see, feel and know that there is more that exist than what most can sense.

I celebrate as I walk outside and stumble because I am too busy looking up at the sky, the birds, trees, the clouds, the twinkling of lights as the energy of the Universe shows itself to me, knowing that I am powerful. My energy has turned lights on, has made the power go out, has created color all around me, in the different shades of the loving compassionate color of my aura that is pink, that I am able to have soul connections, feel the unconditional love flow through me. I know without a doubt there is more to life than what most can see, I have been fortunate to reconnect with grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, all I had to do was go within and get into my heart and from that space anything is possible.

I celebrate me. My genius, my love for all, the time I have taken to heal old shadows and know it is okay to feel. I love to feel joy but I also love a good cry, so I celebrate all parts of me as well as my emotions that I came here to feel and heal. I make a promise to do my best, to not play small but stand tall in my truth, the true self in my light. I will no longer dim my light because I make other’s uncomfortable, because perhaps they are not there yet, in fact for those I turn on the flood flights to shine even brighter. Excited for their awakening, so that they can see the world with the same love and wonderment that I have been awoken to.

Self Discovery

Are you operating in the now? Are your decisions based on what is right in front of you? Or are you unconsciously making a decision today based on past fearful outcomes, past judgements and out of fear of how others will perceive you? Unknowingly, projecting fear into your life and into the lives of others. Constantly giving advice based on fear because of the conditioning and programming that is so ingrained into our psyches that if not aware of it and not willing to make changes, we will continue living in fear, anxiety, lacking trust in almost everything we do and everyone. Have your children begun taking your projections of fear and have implemented them into their lives, their behaviours, taking your stories and making it theirs?

Begin to really become aware, start really asking “why am I doing this?”, Am I trying to control someone because I feel they need to be fixed but not willing to look at your own neurotic behavior? As a person who spent years feeling a need to save everyone or worse wanting others to change to fit into a box that I thought was how we are “supposed” to be and act, not until I began on this journey of self discovery, realizing being spiritual doesn’t mean I am exempt from things happening to me, it just means I don’t make excuses anymore and when I do I catch myself. That is what awareness is about, we witness our behaviors and can easily begin to see if they are ego/fear based or from love/our higher aspect of self.

I was guided into healing for all the wrong reasons (but then again a higher power knew the motive had to be something that would trigger me to my core to want to pursue it, my children). When I thought there was a problem and thought I could fix it, heal it, heal our family, knowing now if it weren’t for me getting on a healers table to see what it was about before I put my own child on one, the healer the whole time saying nothing was coming up for my child but a whole lot was coming up for me. I remember the comment, “her fears come from you, you are not intentionally doing this but they are yours” and even then I didn’t want to take responsibility, how could I, I couldn’t see it at the time, so I couldn’t receive a message like that. I just wanted my baby fixed, someone help her to feel better. And so it began. What I thought was her journey was mine (so damn smart she knew it at the age of 8 years old, that her mom needed to come to the realization on her own, that I am worthy of love and needed to learn how to love myself).

We will always be lead to where we are meant to be. Not everyone will get “it” in this lifetime but I have a feeling a lot of people that once asleep are waking up and when you are ready, I will be here. Begin your journey of self discovery, become aware of how you may be living unconsciously.

Decision Making (authentically)

When we feel self-love & have a healthy self esteem, it becomes easier to make decisions from an authentic place. Many of us have a difficult time making decisions, even simple decisions can have some of us spiralling out of control. I’ve been in those indecisive shoes many of times, when even the simple things in life begin to feel chaotic. That’s when it’s time to go into my tool box, grab a self care practice or two. It’s time to do some self healing, take the time to be still, run Reiki through me to bring me back to balance and clarity. This week I experienced the tail end of Mercury Retrograde (although I don’t know the specifics of what Mercury Retrograde is I definitely felt and experienced the energy of it). It felt as though I was going backwards, very sensitive, couldn’t think clearly, felt defensive, just off. Luckily after a Reiki session I was brought back to my center, felt energized yet calm and very clear again.

During these times of high vibration and light streaming in, it is natural that old stuff is going to come up to be healed. In the process though it can at times feel painful and uncomfortable. Luckily there are many self care practices that you can implement to bring you back to balance with a quickness (this is why I have daily self care practices that are non negotiable).

When you are unsure of what decision to make, here is a simple decision making question, ask “Does this lift me up without putting someone else down?” Ask yourself this question as you make choices throughout your day! And if you do not have a daily self care practice begin to look into ways that you can give to yourself. This will boost your self esteem and your self worth!

Shine your light

As we enter into new energies, upgrades of light activations, manifestation, centered within the heart, allow to receive as well as let go and release. Allow this new light, codes of awakening to enter in, like a ribbon of light that fills you up and expands all around you. Be the light that you are in human form. Shine your light. If you are in a feeling of discomfort in your life, know these energies and feelings are coming up to be released. As we are all moving into Unity, loving concouisness within the heart of God, of Gaia Mother Earth, stand in your truth, feel your truth, the truth will prevail, will rise and as it does you rise up above the hardship of duality but know to be human is to feel the duality at times, to do the shadow work as well as the light work. Where there is darkness let light shine on it, that needs to be let go for once and for all. Not to say you will never feel sadness again or pain, but we enter into a time where theses emotions and feelings will heal at a much rapid pace. So allow the light to shine in, through and all around you. As now is the time to embody true compassion, true love, true joy, to feel and embody your divinity. With lots of love always!