My Journey to opening my awareness and connecting to the higher power within
This is my journey, my story of how I went from the overwhelming feeling of not having enough, not doing and being enough, unfulfilled to opening up to an awareness, a knowing to the infinite possibilities of living a more effortless life. A life of ease and flow, a life of miracles, a life of love and happiness. Finally awoken by the Universal Energies that exist all around us and within us!
Are you operating in the now? Are your decisions based on what is right in front of you? Or are you unconsciously making a decision today based on past fearful outcomes, past judgements and out of fear of how others will perceive you? Unknowingly, projecting fear into your life and into the lives of others. Constantly giving advice based on fear because of the conditioning and programming that is so ingrained into our psyches that if not aware of it and not willing to make changes, we will continue living in fear, anxiety, lacking trust in almost everything we do and everyone. Have your children begun taking your projections of fear and have implemented them into their lives, their behaviours, taking your stories and making it theirs?
Begin to really become aware, start really asking “why am I doing this?”, Am I trying to control someone because I feel they need to be fixed but not willing to look at your own neurotic behavior? As a person who spent years feeling a need to save everyone or worse wanting others to change to fit into a box that I thought was how we are “supposed” to be and act, not until I began on this journey of self discovery, realizing being spiritual doesn’t mean I am exempt from things happening to me, it just means I don’t make excuses anymore and when I do I catch myself. That is what awareness is about, we witness our behaviors and can easily begin to see if they are ego/fear based or from love/our higher aspect of self.
I was guided into healing for all the wrong reasons (but then again a higher power knew the motive had to be something that would trigger me to my core to want to pursue it, my children). When I thought there was a problem and thought I could fix it, heal it, heal our family, knowing now if it weren’t for me getting on a healers table to see what it was about before I put my own child on one, the healer the whole time saying nothing was coming up for my child but a whole lot was coming up for me. I remember the comment, “her fears come from you, you are not intentionally doing this but they are yours” and even then I didn’t want to take responsibility, how could I, I couldn’t see it at the time, so I couldn’t receive a message like that. I just wanted my baby fixed, someone help her to feel better. And so it began. What I thought was her journey was mine (so damn smart she knew it at the age of 8 years old, that her mom needed to come to the realization on her own, that I am worthy of love and needed to learn how to love myself).
We will always be lead to where we are meant to be. Not everyone will get “it” in this lifetime but I have a feeling a lot of people that once asleep are waking up and when you are ready, I will be here. Begin your journey of self discovery, become aware of how you may be living unconsciously.
When we feel self-love & have a healthy self esteem, it becomes easier to make decisions from an authentic place. Many of us have a difficult time making decisions, even simple decisions can have some of us spiralling out of control. I’ve been in those indecisive shoes many of times, when even the simple things in life begin to feel chaotic. That’s when it’s time to go into my tool box, grab a self care practice or two. It’s time to do some self healing, take the time to be still, run Reiki through me to bring me back to balance and clarity. This week I experienced the tail end of Mercury Retrograde (although I don’t know the specifics of what Mercury Retrograde is I definitely felt and experienced the energy of it). It felt as though I was going backwards, very sensitive, couldn’t think clearly, felt defensive, just off. Luckily after a Reiki session I was brought back to my center, felt energized yet calm and very clear again.
During these times of high vibration and light streaming in, it is natural that old stuff is going to come up to be healed. In the process though it can at times feel painful and uncomfortable. Luckily there are many self care practices that you can implement to bring you back to balance with a quickness (this is why I have daily self care practices that are non negotiable).
When you are unsure of what decision to make, here is a simple decision making question, ask “Does this lift me up without putting someone else down?” Ask yourself this question as you make choices throughout your day! And if you do not have a daily self care practice begin to look into ways that you can give to yourself. This will boost your self esteem and your self worth!
As we enter into new energies, upgrades of light activations, manifestation, centered within the heart, allow to receive as well as let go and release. Allow this new light, codes of awakening to enter in, like a ribbon of light that fills you up and expands all around you. Be the light that you are in human form. Shine your light. If you are in a feeling of discomfort in your life, know these energies and feelings are coming up to be released. As we are all moving into Unity, loving concouisness within the heart of God, of Gaia Mother Earth, stand in your truth, feel your truth, the truth will prevail, will rise and as it does you rise up above the hardship of duality but know to be human is to feel the duality at times, to do the shadow work as well as the light work. Where there is darkness let light shine on it, that needs to be let go for once and for all. Not to say you will never feel sadness again or pain, but we enter into a time where theses emotions and feelings will heal at a much rapid pace. So allow the light to shine in, through and all around you. As now is the time to embody true compassion, true love, true joy, to feel and embody your divinity. With lots of love always!
Listen to the attached audio message regarding compassion. Release your guilt, shame, insecurity, fear and begin to have compassion for yourself and others. Make the changes in yourself to see the change you want in your life and learn to have more compassion in the process. Is the love you know true love or is your love conditional, obsessive, self-sacrificing, distorted, controlling? Are you sending out love that is defined by the programming and conditioning that you learned or are you giving yourself and others Divine Love!
Where I am now as I deepen my connection, I love my body even more. Sometimes we can get really caught in the head trip of meditation, expanding our awareness, rising to new heights to connect with the Divine. Which is great and there is nothing wrong with it, since we do want to rise up and expand. Life is supposed to be a joy ride, explorative, we receive guidance, sensations we didn’t know were possible, our senses heightened without taking an outside substance. Just you, your breath and God. But we are here having this human experience in a physical body and although we don’t have to be so attached to form, to be present in our bodies is to be human. Our bodies our 0n this journey just as much as our spirit and our soul in human form.
It took the Universe pulling my awareness back into my body, reminding me that my power is greater in my sacred temple because within, in the Now is where I connect to that all loving, genius, creative, limitless presence and essence (God is not outside of us but within us). In the beginning of my spiritual journey, where I wanted a deeper connection with God, with my higher self, I wanted to understand my purpose, why I was here, how I could serve and I heard the most beautiful voice lean in and say “Go within and you will find purpose”. Go within, not outside but within. And the more grounded I am in the body, the more I do this, hands on my heart, on my body and breath the more profound my connection is with the truth.
I have attached two audios one about our bodies being the sacred temple to connect with the Divine. And the other to listen to your bodies ques. We all have a Yes sensation (for me expansion) and a No sensation (for me contraction), it is our subtle body shifts, our intuition at work. Begin to ask, to listen by feeling what the body is telling you. Not with the logical mind but the mind, the heart, the soul, the connection to the whole you through the body.
It’s time we all become the masters of our lives. Knowing where you are is exactly where you are meant to be. Trust all the experiences that have lead here and now is Divine perfection in action. Review your life, what have you overcome? What and how can you use your experiences to serve and help the greater good? I realize I heal in other’s through creativity and by being a vessel for God to work through me, by taking my own personal experiences to help another. Enjoy the attached audio.
Doing daily affirmations/mantras are a big part of my healing and daily practice. Listen to this message, repeat the mantras to yourself out loud, listen to your voice as you say the words. Feel your body begin to shift and dissolve away fear based beliefs. Reprogram the subconscious.”I love you”💖
Ask yourself this question; Am I living on autopilot? How often are you truly present? Do you pride yourself as being the ultimate multitasker? Juggling multiple things at once but always feeling in a state of chaos, stress, depleted and defeated. When did it become a badge of honor to live life this way? And we wonder why so many of us are in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Chasing one thing after another but never feeling like we are getting anywhere. On that hamster wheel and always ending up at the same unfulfilling place. It’s time to reevaluate our values and what is important to us. Our health? or pleasing the outside world? Showing the outside how “great” we are because we people please our way through life while inside we are dying to feel free, we want to say No sometimes but don’t know how to. How do we live with more ease, present in presence, with more peace?
Begin by really taking stock of one day and see how present you truly are (if that is too much begin by looking at one hour). And when you find yourself running around like a dog chasing it’s tail, stop, pause and breath. Learn to say “No, thank you” to things that are depleting you (“NO” is a full sentence, we do not always have to give a long drawn out explanation as to why we don’t want to go somewhere or do something that is only going to add more stress to our lives). The old narrative is changing to a more freeing one, where it is okay to put ourselves first without it feeling selfish, in fact it’s self care.
I lived in this state of chaos for so long that the Universe had to stop me, literally lost my shit, knocked me down, coulnd’t speak, didn’t know what the heck was going on, I became helpless, like a baby that had to be held and reminded that I am whole and complete just for being me, I am enough. If my children weren’t there to intervene and make a call to a family member I have no idea where I would be today. Don’t wait until the Universe knocks you down and gives you a wake up call that may be your last.
Begin saying yes to yourself, learn to love yourself, take time for self and get to know the true you.
Contact me for a healing session, to talk, or receive guidance from your highest aspect of self and guides. Go to the healing section on my site above to begin. Or you can text me at 407-914-4947 or email me at email@example.com to get started.
All of it is real and all an illusion created by you. As your faith grows, your gifts grow, your love grows because you are no longer leaning on yourself, no longer allowing fear to lead you or take over, you are leaning on a power much greater. Love is what over powers all! Call in unconditional love every morning, the light of love to surround you, to uplift you. You have known this for so long. Simple but so powerful, it is what you came here to learn and teach, self-love, self acceptance, teach it to all. Through your powerful messages, continue to go within, connect with love, follow your heart, feel as it continues to guide you, smell the roses, walk in nature, do what brings you joy and remember to RELAX, follow your inner guidance & as you do your outer world will reflect back to you love. Know all is well, all that you desire is waiting for you and with each and every step you take, with each intentional breath you take (breathe in and out feel love fill your entire being, the space you are in), be present, dream big, be open and continue allowing love in. Love you always, your love guide!