Begin to really look at your habits and what you do on a day to day basis. Where do you focus a lot of your time and energy? Where are you energetically? Are you physically at home but your thoughts are at work, with your kids, your ex, etc? Are you a person that feels it’s not right to sit (equate that to laziness)? Do you have a difficult time giving yourself a break? Do you feel guilty when you rest as though if you are not constantly moving than you will get in trouble? Have you ever complained and used the phrase “I feel like I’m a slave to my kids or spouse” (could be that you actually set up a slave contract prior to incarnating that needs to be broken). If so, it’s now time to become aware of our patterns and intentionally do the opposite. In the middle of the day you could stop the busyness, lay down, take a nap, watch a funny show, read a book, do the opposite of what you normally would do and allow yourself to rest.
Give yourself permission to do nothing (what feels like non action is really a huge energy shift towards self-love). And ask your soul to help you with this, ask why do I have such a hard time allowing myself rest? The answers are there, you may receive them while walking, in meditation, doing the dishes but once you begin to ask, your soul will provide you with the answers because all the answers to your questions are already within you. Usually if you are asking a “should I do this ______? What I’ve been told is if I am asking it is usually so. Something to think about. The same goes for the opposite if you are a person that makes excuses, spends a lot of time watching t.v. or doing nothing perhaps it’s time to move your body, go for an intentional walk, clean out a draw or closet.
We cannot change our habits by continuing doing the same things, we need to either add or subtract something in our lives and we cannot receive the answers from the same consciousness that created the “problem”. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well this is similar to that and although I don’t think we need to be hard on ourselves while trying to make these positive changes, as it has been so deeply ingrained in us to the things we do. Change is not easy but possible.
Are you operating in the now? Are your decisions based on what is right in front of you? Or are you unconsciously making a decision today based on past fearful outcomes, past judgements and out of fear of how others will perceive you? Unknowingly, projecting fear into your life and into the lives of others. Constantly giving advice based on fear because of the conditioning and programming that is so ingrained into our psyches that if not aware of it and not willing to make changes, we will continue living in fear, anxiety, lacking trust in almost everything we do and everyone. Have your children begun taking your projections of fear and have implemented them into their lives, their behaviours, taking your stories and making it theirs?
Begin to really become aware, start really asking “why am I doing this?”, Am I trying to control someone because I feel they need to be fixed but not willing to look at your own neurotic behavior? As a person who spent years feeling a need to save everyone or worse wanting others to change to fit into a box that I thought was how we are “supposed” to be and act, not until I began on this journey of self discovery, realizing being spiritual doesn’t mean I am exempt from things happening to me, it just means I don’t make excuses anymore and when I do I catch myself. That is what awareness is about, we witness our behaviors and can easily begin to see if they are ego/fear based or from love/our higher aspect of self.
I was guided into healing for all the wrong reasons (but then again a higher power knew the motive had to be something that would trigger me to my core to want to pursue it, my children). When I thought there was a problem and thought I could fix it, heal it, heal our family, knowing now if it weren’t for me getting on a healers table to see what it was about before I put my own child on one, the healer the whole time saying nothing was coming up for my child but a whole lot was coming up for me. I remember the comment, “her fears come from you, you are not intentionally doing this but they are yours” and even then I didn’t want to take responsibility, how could I, I couldn’t see it at the time, so I couldn’t receive a message like that. I just wanted my baby fixed, someone help her to feel better. And so it began. What I thought was her journey was mine (so damn smart she knew it at the age of 8 years old, that her mom needed to come to the realization on her own, that I am worthy of love and needed to learn how to love myself).
We will always be lead to where we are meant to be. Not everyone will get “it” in this lifetime but I have a feeling a lot of people that once asleep are waking up and when you are ready, I will be here. Begin your journey of self discovery, become aware of how you may be living unconsciously.
When we feel self-love & have a healthy self esteem, it becomes easier to make decisions from an authentic place. Many of us have a difficult time making decisions, even simple decisions can have some of us spiralling out of control. I’ve been in those indecisive shoes many of times, when even the simple things in life begin to feel chaotic. That’s when it’s time to go into my tool box, grab a self care practice or two. It’s time to do some self healing, take the time to be still, run Reiki through me to bring me back to balance and clarity. This week I experienced the tail end of Mercury Retrograde (although I don’t know the specifics of what Mercury Retrograde is I definitely felt and experienced the energy of it). It felt as though I was going backwards, very sensitive, couldn’t think clearly, felt defensive, just off. Luckily after a Reiki session I was brought back to my center, felt energized yet calm and very clear again.
During these times of high vibration and light streaming in, it is natural that old stuff is going to come up to be healed. In the process though it can at times feel painful and uncomfortable. Luckily there are many self care practices that you can implement to bring you back to balance with a quickness (this is why I have daily self care practices that are non negotiable).
When you are unsure of what decision to make, here is a simple decision making question, ask “Does this lift me up without putting someone else down?” Ask yourself this question as you make choices throughout your day! And if you do not have a daily self care practice begin to look into ways that you can give to yourself. This will boost your self esteem and your self worth!