Self Discovery

Are you operating in the now? Are your decisions based on what is right in front of you? Or are you unconsciously making a decision today based on past fearful outcomes, past judgements and out of fear of how others will perceive you? Unknowingly, projecting fear into your life and into the lives of others. Constantly giving advice based on fear because of the conditioning and programming that is so ingrained into our psyches that if not aware of it and not willing to make changes, we will continue living in fear, anxiety, lacking trust in almost everything we do and everyone. Have your children begun taking your projections of fear and have implemented them into their lives, their behaviours, taking your stories and making it theirs?

Begin to really become aware, start really asking “why am I doing this?”, Am I trying to control someone because I feel they need to be fixed but not willing to look at your own neurotic behavior? As a person who spent years feeling a need to save everyone or worse wanting others to change to fit into a box that I thought was how we are “supposed” to be and act, not until I began on this journey of self discovery, realizing being spiritual doesn’t mean I am exempt from things happening to me, it just means I don’t make excuses anymore and when I do I catch myself. That is what awareness is about, we witness our behaviors and can easily begin to see if they are ego/fear based or from love/our higher aspect of self.

I was guided into healing for all the wrong reasons (but then again a higher power knew the motive had to be something that would trigger me to my core to want to pursue it, my children). When I thought there was a problem and thought I could fix it, heal it, heal our family, knowing now if it weren’t for me getting on a healers table to see what it was about before I put my own child on one, the healer the whole time saying nothing was coming up for my child but a whole lot was coming up for me. I remember the comment, “her fears come from you, you are not intentionally doing this but they are yours” and even then I didn’t want to take responsibility, how could I, I couldn’t see it at the time, so I couldn’t receive a message like that. I just wanted my baby fixed, someone help her to feel better. And so it began. What I thought was her journey was mine (so damn smart she knew it at the age of 8 years old, that her mom needed to come to the realization on her own, that I am worthy of love and needed to learn how to love myself).

We will always be lead to where we are meant to be. Not everyone will get “it” in this lifetime but I have a feeling a lot of people that once asleep are waking up and when you are ready, I will be here. Begin your journey of self discovery, become aware of how you may be living unconsciously.

Shine your light

As we enter into new energies, upgrades of light activations, manifestation, centered within the heart, allow to receive as well as let go and release. Allow this new light, codes of awakening to enter in, like a ribbon of light that fills you up and expands all around you. Be the light that you are in human form. Shine your light. If you are in a feeling of discomfort in your life, know these energies and feelings are coming up to be released. As we are all moving into Unity, loving concouisness within the heart of God, of Gaia Mother Earth, stand in your truth, feel your truth, the truth will prevail, will rise and as it does you rise up above the hardship of duality but know to be human is to feel the duality at times, to do the shadow work as well as the light work. Where there is darkness let light shine on it, that needs to be let go for once and for all. Not to say you will never feel sadness again or pain, but we enter into a time where theses emotions and feelings will heal at a much rapid pace. So allow the light to shine in, through and all around you. As now is the time to embody true compassion, true love, true joy, to feel and embody your divinity. With lots of love always!

Love Healing Transmission

Heart Healing Transmission

Doing daily affirmations/mantras are a big part of my healing and daily practice. Listen to this message, repeat the mantras to yourself out loud, listen to your voice as you say the words. Feel your body begin to shift and dissolve away fear based beliefs. Reprogram the subconscious.”I love you”💖

Are you living on Autopilot?

Audio from my inner guidance system regarding living on autopilot

Ask yourself this question; Am I living on autopilot? How often are you truly present? Do you pride yourself as being the ultimate multitasker? Juggling multiple things at once but always feeling in a state of chaos, stress, depleted and defeated. When did it become a badge of honor to live life this way? And we wonder why so many of us are in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Chasing one thing after another but never feeling like we are getting anywhere. On that hamster wheel and always ending up at the same unfulfilling place. It’s time to reevaluate our values and what is important to us. Our health? or pleasing the outside world? Showing the outside how “great” we are because we people please our way through life while inside we are dying to feel free, we want to say No sometimes but don’t know how to. How do we live with more ease, present in presence, with more peace?

Begin by really taking stock of one day and see how present you truly are (if that is too much begin by looking at one hour). And when you find yourself running around like a dog chasing it’s tail, stop, pause and breath. Learn to say “No, thank you” to things that are depleting you (“NO” is a full sentence, we do not always have to give a long drawn out explanation as to why we don’t want to go somewhere or do something that is only going to add more stress to our lives). The old narrative is changing to a more freeing one, where it is okay to put ourselves first without it feeling selfish, in fact it’s self care.

I lived in this state of chaos for so long that the Universe had to stop me, literally lost my shit, knocked me down, coulnd’t speak, didn’t know what the heck was going on, I became helpless, like a baby that had to be held and reminded that I am whole and complete just for being me, I am enough. If my children weren’t there to intervene and make a call to a family member I have no idea where I would be today. Don’t wait until the Universe knocks you down and gives you a wake up call that may be your last.

Begin saying yes to yourself, learn to love yourself, take time for self and get to know the true you.

Contact me for a healing session, to talk, or receive guidance from your highest aspect of self and guides. Go to the healing section on my site above to begin. Or you can text me at 407-914-4947 or email me at joyfullyawakebyvivianhawker@gmail.com to get started.

2019 Energy & Heart Healing Transmission

2019 Engery (recorded on 1/17/19 prior to January’s Total Lunar Eclipse)

I have taken a moment to step back even more, an internet/ social media detox, a time to really slow down (I didn’t know it was even possible to slow down even more), to be with my family, to continue to exist, be and in this beingness I have found that I am whole and complete. That despite the break from “working”, a lot of internal work has taken place. There is no manual to life but when we connect with the true self we are our greatest guide, when we can remember our truth and unlearn the beliefs that no longer hold true, no longer work for us, when we tap into our intuition and allow Mother Earth to guide us (knowing now we are the Universe), we are whole no matter if we feel sadness or joy. We are all of it but without being too attached to outcome, trust.

I have felt the Universe within, the collective, the ups and downs, the sadness, anger, fear as well as the love, the expansion and through a lot of self love and radical self care have experienced the integration of the Ego. Can step back and be the compassionate witness. The ascension process that I’ve heard so much about has literally played out within me from descension to working my way up. I have ascended from inner pits of hell the ultimate fear to heaven the ultimate love. I have never read the bible but my understanding is we are “it”, we are the stories, the stories being metaphors for how we ascend, how we live life through principles of forgiveness, nonjudgement, compassion & love, to be the co-creators, the masters of our own lives connected to source. As we all are taken on this journey through ascension there may be some fearful emotions that come up, life may be difficult at times/a struggle, or you can ride the wave of ascension surrendering the whole way knowing all is here and showing up in your life, for you, to help you.

Either way, now I understand when I was told by my higher self, the highest aspect of self, my guides and Angels (which are really all a layer of me, of self here to help on this journey of remembering) that I am a seed planter, a way shower, a light worker, an earth angel. I realize I am exactly where I need to be so I can help someone that may be a day behind me, a month, year, etc to help bring guidance and healing into their lives. Realizing with every channelled message written or spoken there is a healing frequency that comes with it. I was told I would heal with my messages, sound, color, in many different ways. But it wasn’t until my breakthrough in May that I now have a deeper understanding of what that means. Because I actually experienced it first hand. In the midst of it I was told to go to my blog, as I was in extreme fear I began to read and something amazing began to happen, it was as if I was encased in a protective beautiful bubble of white light being reassured by the Divine Mother and Father that all is well. I am a transmitter of this expanded heart healing energy, it took my breakdown to have this major revelation that once I fully surrendered to the process, to my gifts and no one else could step in because I had to prove it to me to know and trust that I can help others in the same way.

During one of my self healing sessions I had a profound healing experience in which I could feel and hear the presence of the Divine Mother and Father. I heard Heart and Soul Transformation healing was what was taking place. And as I wrote the title to this blog post I wrote Heart Healing transmission so for now that is what I will call it (as I type I feel my heart expand, love it….no more hiding my experiences, who I am and how I have transitioned/evolved into the person I am today).

Feel free to contact me. Go to the Healing section at the top of site to get in touch with me for a healing session (I will be adding intuitive readings as well).

Netflix- Heal

Documentary Heal on Netflix

I suggest that everyone watches this documentary to gain a deeper understanding of how powerful we truly are. And how our emotions, our thoughts and beliefs are a huge contributor to our health both physical and mental. How energy healing can play a big role in bringing balance to our lives amongst other alternative ways of healing. I lived for years with depression and anxiety. I tried so many different medications that covered the symptoms and although yes they helped to stable me they also caused other problems like low sex drive, feelings of emptiness/ no emotions and to get off these medications once your on them can be extremely challenging.

We are on this journey of life to feel and experience all kinds of things but sometimes what we think is helping us can also be hurting us. And yes I do agree that many medications can be helpful and have their place. But now is the time that we need to be open to other methods of healing. If you would have mentioned energy healing a couple of years ago I would have thought you were weird but now through several experiences I have been shown and gifted the most beautiful healing experiences. From stopping smoking after over 30 years; cold turkey with no side affects and no cravings or desire to ever go back to being a smoker. To helping and eliminating the aches and pains that come with the autoimmune disease of Lupus. To helping with anxiety, depression, bringing a sense a calmness back into a persons life that didn’t even know was possible. I could go on and on about the benefits of energy work/healing that help to bring balance into our everyday lives.

We are living in this fast paced modern world and need to find ways to limit stress and add practices of self care. And through these self care practices they will assist to uncover the truth of who we are and learn to love accept and approve of ourselves to bring us back to a feeling of wholeness.

I am whole and complete!

Heal Judgement

Listen to the attached audio in regards to healing judgement. Let’s free ourselves from what we hold onto energetically that does not serve (not just gossiping about others but all the internal judgement and the way we talk about other people’s lives to other people). Energetically I have felt and heard what this does and when we free ourselves of it, we also help others. This helps to ripple love out to feel uplifted, lighter, expansion. As a tool and tip begin a judgement journal, set the intention to surround it with healing energy so all that goes into that journal gets healed. You will be amazed at how your life will begin to transform. Truly excited to feel the transformational energy.

Heal Judgement

Are you an Empath?

For over the past year my journey began when I wanted to understand what an Empath is because of my children. And I wanted to help, I wanted to fix, to heal….I dove so deep into all of it. Completely consumed by information and in the process I began to find myself. They were fine, I was not, through my projection of all my fears onto them I created distance and separation, in trying to protect them I was hurting the people I loved.

It did not fully hit until recently that the reason I have struggled with relationships my whole life from friendships, to romantic relationships to the rebellious teen and young adult self, work relationships (always choosing the same bosses and work environment). Is because I am an Empath, a highly sensitive person. The relationship I struggled with most is the one with myself. Never understanding why I felt I couldn’t handle the normal day-to-day life without feeling defeated, depleted, anger, resentment, anxiety…so much negativity but yet I was always the fun-loving girl. The one that could turn a funeral into a party, enjoyed life, took chances, was always ready to explore, said yes to having fun. And then things began to feel so hard.

My deep hurt wasn’t mine all the time, I was surrounded by love my whole life but put up a wall or at least tried to because their pain became my pain. I did everything I could to numb this pain, avoid feeling, but I still soaked it up. We are all addicted to something and although I judged other’s for theirs when you have to face your own it’s like looking the devil in the eyes. And it will make you feel like it will forever have a hold on you but once you can look yourself in the mirror and admit to your own personal demons I see you and even in my own steps to release you no matter how big or small the steps may seem it no longer can rule your life because the person who wants you to face it, is you.

During my breakdown I had episodes of traumatic memories replayed in my mind, my body, the fear was so deafening it was more than my system could take. Our moments that frighten us the most, that shake us up, that stop us are telling us something. If we don’t stop and listen, take notice and start looking within and what the people around us are showing us in those moments we lose out on life’s biggest lessons. The events in our lives are teaching us so we can grow, evolve, otherwise what is the point? Why did a love one choose to leave if we didn’t learn from their loss? Why did we experience a wake up call if it doesn’t make us ask bigger questions, of why are we here? Is there more to life than what I see or know? Do I have a bigger life’s purpose than what I am doing now? And if so what steps do I take to know that purpose?

Begin by going within, sit, stop, listen, take notice because if you have had these experiences consider yourself lucky. If you are reading this it’s because the Universe needs you to choose love and share that love with others. To be part of the much-needed uncovering, unfolding and release to know you are a light to the world and your light is needed now. And if you too are an Empath, a sensitive person and have felt like sometimes life is too much to handle, know that there is a way to make this your biggest super power, your greatest gift. I am finally at a point in my life that I love and embrace my gifts, I feel deeply and can help heal on a deep level as well. Contact me below for soul transformation healing.