Dark Night of the Soul

As I come up to the 2 year mark after my Dark Night of the Soul experience, the Divine guidance I receive is “share the experience”. No more tip toeing around, people are being awoken and some may not make it through unless they know what they are experiencing. Although very difficult, it really is the biggest blessing in disguise and when some of the most profound transformations take place. I compare it to a caterpillar going through it’s many stages of becoming a butterfly. It can not be stopped, otherwise this Divine intervention will not allow your wings to break free from the cocoon and the beautiful butterfly may never fully emerge into her greatness. It’s when we descend into the darkness so the light can be shined upon it. To fully heal our shadows, like an initiation into another layer of our truth. Out of this most uncomfortable experience we are shown the Truth, so our soul can fully emerge and integrate to stay in alignment on our path into our life’s mission. It is the death of the false self (some call it the Ego) to allow the soul to fully integrate and union with God. During this integration process, everything emerges and can feel like one disaster after another where old lifeless patterns are resurfacing again and again so we can stop the B.S. and exam our lives with a fine tooth comb.

Our soul will no longer allow the excuses, will no longer allow us to play small and if we do, we shall not sulk in a corner and feel pity or play the victim any longer. We must accept where we are and who we are. Our soul knows the power we hold within and needs things to be shaken up to wake us out of this sleep walking path that we’ve been on. It is such a bizarre thing to go through and for many this Shamanic initiation process in it’s realness, are shown the mystical parts of life, where we have to stop asking “how did that just happen?”, sometimes we need to accept the miracles of life. Accept that there is higher power greater than us, through true surrender. When we can fully fall to our knees and say “Dear God, I don’t know how to do this”. Which really was the only way I personally was able to get through this process, when I stopped fighting, when I stopped running and stopped hiding and faced the demons. I am in the process of writing about this experience, as part of my creation and to help those going through this spiritual crisis from being diagnosed as a psychological one. More and more people are being possessed by fear so that we can move through it and emerge into the loving, compassionate beings we truly are. As we are all undergoing a massive awakening to heal as the collective to remember the Oneness of Unity Consciousness. The poem below puts the experience in it’s simplest form (I wrote this while deep in the healing process after a period of what most would call psychosis but was really was my awakening. I was in and out of different realities, dimensions, living life on both sides and realize now I was being shown what we are all going through and what is to come).

Dark of the Soul
Ocean waves moving in motion like our never-ending crashing emotions, smashing against the tide when we don’t trust our inner guide,
Everywhere I go, nowhere to hide from the anger and disappointment that I feel inside, the resentment that arises from memories when I felt I didn’t have a voice or a choice.

Would not, could not speak up and out for myself,
At work, at home, it seems everywhere I turn, carefully walking on eggshells, as slowly pieces inside of me began to chip away at all my dreams and desires until I completely lost my way.
Ungrounded, astounded by the tearful, fearful person in the mirror who has lost her natural state to want to create.
Job-less, car-less, emotion-less, devotion-less…….a sad feeling of emptiness.

STOP….Breathe, take a moment to be present, face this fear, do not give it any more power and do not allow all that self-abusive chatter to get louder and louder.
Have I really lost everything or have I just began?
Remembering who I really am.

Through strength, faith and true desire to create, remembering I came here to thrive not just survive.
Live for today and a better tomorrow, leave all the self-doubt and abuse for a positive attitude and a life of gratitude.
I believe in myself, for within is the pure love, truth, the light of my soul, my inner spirit that chose to live Heaven on Earth
With A dream, A desire, beyond expansion with passion and fire.

Subconscious Reprogramming, Release, Relief

Subconscious Reprogramming, Release, Relief and why it is beneficial: The subconscious can only hold so much before it over flows. Due to the rise of technology and the massive amounts of input at our finger tips we need to rework our systems to handle this as we were not designed for this obsessive, compulsive, look up everything kind of access. People will begin to feel insane and sometimes this can happen in a moment. This has been a part of my experience so I can have a deeper understanding of how to help others that are experiencing symptoms due to this. As Collectively we are going through a subconscious release to shift the patriarchy, the Egoic, conditioned programming that will no longer work on the New Earth (the children of now don’t understand it and will not tolerate it, they came in with different programming, different light codes to help us shift out of this outdated way of being and living).

When we are conscious, we become self-aware. Aware of our thoughts and the programming which is our deep ingrained taught way of being, our beliefs that we soaked up like a sponge until we were 7 years old. These beliefs have been playing out in our world for so long. As we pay attention to the constant chatter that flows in our minds which is an outcome, based on our inner belief system, as well as the outer input that we allow in and soak up due to the fact that we can all feel on a much deeper level (energy transference). We can become the witness to the judgments we make about others and ourselves. Begin to ask where did this originate? Why do I think this way? Why do I believe this? Does it serve me? Does it feel good? Does it bring me joy or do I feel horrible, guilt and shame filled for having these thoughts? If so know it is quite normal. We are human, the human conditioning we have been born into is shifting and changing, which is a good thing. The outdated conditioning is breaking down over the next couple of years within each of us and we are literally receiving a DNA upgrade within our cellular memory (similar to a computer or an app that every now and again needs the updated version applied to it in order for it to run at it’s optimized strength and speed).

But change is usually not easy, if it was then everyone would do it. Many may say they want change but what I have seen (even in myself until I was forced to create change) they rather go through years of feeling horrible than do the inner work to create the change we want to see in our lives. We look back at let’s say 20, 30, 40 years of the same unserving behavioral patterns, as well as unwanted, uncomfortable physical ailments that can turn into chronic pain, that we keep complaining about but when approached with “you can finally heal this”, you can change that old lie and given the tools to do so, many run for the hills.

We are taught we don’t talk about certain things, families have secrets, skeletons in the closet and they need to stay in the closet. People die and we are told you get one week of bereavement pay because you should be over it in a week, there are so many rules that no longer work and will no longer apply in our evolving culture. Not in our evolving society, anymore. Look at what we have built a tolerance to. If you watch the news for 5 minutes, how many shootings, violence against another, bullying, robberies, how much hatred and anger erupts in our face in those 5 minutes? But yet we are conditioned that if we are not glued to this programming than we will miss out on something. This is our fear based world, that we have become numb to, why do we continue to accept so much fear? It has been our “norm”but it is no longer.

We have been brought to our knees and what I was asked during my Dark Night of the Soul experience is who is my biggest trigger?, If the darkness were to attack my children would I change? Of course. Well guess what your children feel, hear and see the parents shadows, they know your families secrets, they came here to be the light and to shine their light on our shadows. If we see them in pain will that finally make this madness stop? We will have no choice but to do the work, when we see our children fall to their knees at 7, 8, 9 years old watching your child have panic attacks, visions of being beaten, attacked verbally and physically but not their own trauma and hurt, to be the witness so that they can transmute our pain into light. To do what many volunteered to do which is turn your fear into love. To teach you how to love yourself. Because if we are not going to witness it someone has to, for it to be healed (this is science, not woo, woo stuff, it’s Quantum physics/ Quantum healing….the act of observing makes it so and heals).

I have held back for way too long about what I know, what I’ve been told, and how our children are the most brilliant beautiful innocent beings of pure love. They literally can walk into a store and everyone in the store shifts. I’ve seen it happen, unfortunately the child will begin to feel panicked, like they can’t breathe, sick to their stomach and practically drop whatever they have in their hands and run out to get away from all our garbage, from our energy. Or they drop down and have a tantrum out of no where. And Autism, these are the biggest light workers and you think they can’t communicate, they are telepathically speaking to us, you just have to much clutter in your brain to hear them. Or you just can’t believe that, telepathy is a thing but you’ll believe a prognoses and scary diagnoses.

Wake up people because if you do not take the steps to take care of yourself, your home, your side of the street, the garbage can only be piled so high before it implodes or explodes. This may seem harsh and I usually am not this brash but I experienced it. It was not easy and was not fun but there are ways to bring yourself to balance, to heal. I’ve spent the past couple of years testing so many different tools to be brought back to where I began and that was Kundalini Yoga Breath work/Meditation. I will be honest my nervous system was shot after my Dark Night of the Soul Experience in May 2018 but by making a commitment to self care to include practices that are consistent and combining Self Reiki healing (among other tools, such as, Mirror work, journaling, nature walks, prayer, so many self care tools to choose from. And perhaps it’s not a one size fits all and I hope you find what works for you). But this is the strongest I have felt ever. Perhaps I can be a mentor and a guide to assist you to find what works for you, as we all are transitioning and transforming.

And this strength not only helps me but ripples out and now my energy stays within my energy field and my aura acts like a lighted shield from negativity. I still feel and can connect but in a way that now my empathic nature has become a super power (I can feel the lies, I can feel the in-authenticity, I can feel the power of another, someone that is centered and full of love and some that could use a bit of strengthening in their own system. I can see through the perfect social media family portrait and feel the stress on those smiling faces. And I can have deep compassion because I know what it feels like, when we have to juggle so much and don’t feel we have time to give to the most important person in your life….You, the person you have look in the mirror).

This is a Suggested Tool and I suggest begin this practice today: So Darshan Chakra Kriya (a Kundalini breathwork meditation to get rid your subconscious garbage, de-clutter the mind and bring balance to the left and right side of the brain and our nervous system). This has saved my life along with other tools that I will share. Look it up on YouTube, super easy begin with 5 minutes and then increase to 11 minutes and so on. More tools to come, you may also contact me for a Reiki Session and I have no problem doing Reiki on children but parents need to do a session first and may need more than one session (I have witnessed after the parent heals, the child/children no longer have the issues the parents were seeing because it’s not the child’s issue it’s the parents that the child has taken on in some way).

New Moon Energy

As we enter into this New Moon energy of May 2019. Allow the light streams to lift us up in vibration, to embody more of our Divine truth. Allow the streams of Consciousness, the downloads to awaken us to our next level to embody compassion, to be the witness of the beauty that is life, as Heaven on Earth. Call in love in every moment, to be the Divine I AM being you truly are. Let love flow in from above, below and all around us. Stand fully in your Soul’s true essence. Now is the time to allow your mind to rise up into your high heart and be as one.