Self Discovery

Are you operating in the now? Are your decisions based on what is right in front of you? Or are you unconsciously making a decision today based on past fearful outcomes, past judgements and out of fear of how others will perceive you? Unknowingly, projecting fear into your life and into the lives of others. Constantly giving advice based on fear because of the conditioning and programming that is so ingrained into our psyches that if not aware of it and not willing to make changes, we will continue living in fear, anxiety, lacking trust in almost everything we do and everyone. Have your children begun taking your projections of fear and have implemented them into their lives, their behaviours, taking your stories and making it theirs?

Begin to really become aware, start really asking “why am I doing this?”, Am I trying to control someone because I feel they need to be fixed but not willing to look at your own neurotic behavior? As a person who spent years feeling a need to save everyone or worse wanting others to change to fit into a box that I thought was how we are “supposed” to be and act, not until I began on this journey of self discovery, realizing being spiritual doesn’t mean I am exempt from things happening to me, it just means I don’t make excuses anymore and when I do I catch myself. That is what awareness is about, we witness our behaviors and can easily begin to see if they are ego/fear based or from love/our higher aspect of self.

I was guided into healing for all the wrong reasons (but then again a higher power knew the motive had to be something that would trigger me to my core to want to pursue it, my children). When I thought there was a problem and thought I could fix it, heal it, heal our family, knowing now if it weren’t for me getting on a healers table to see what it was about before I put my own child on one, the healer the whole time saying nothing was coming up for my child but a whole lot was coming up for me. I remember the comment, “her fears come from you, you are not intentionally doing this but they are yours” and even then I didn’t want to take responsibility, how could I, I couldn’t see it at the time, so I couldn’t receive a message like that. I just wanted my baby fixed, someone help her to feel better. And so it began. What I thought was her journey was mine (so damn smart she knew it at the age of 8 years old, that her mom needed to come to the realization on her own, that I am worthy of love and needed to learn how to love myself).

We will always be lead to where we are meant to be. Not everyone will get “it” in this lifetime but I have a feeling a lot of people that once asleep are waking up and when you are ready, I will be here. Begin your journey of self discovery, become aware of how you may be living unconsciously.