Self Discovery

Are you operating in the now? Are your decisions based on what is right in front of you? Or are you unconsciously making a decision today based on past fearful outcomes, past judgements and out of fear of how others will perceive you? Unknowingly, projecting fear into your life and into the lives of others. Constantly giving advice based on fear because of the conditioning and programming that is so ingrained into our psyches that if not aware of it and not willing to make changes, we will continue living in fear, anxiety, lacking trust in almost everything we do and everyone. Have your children begun taking your projections of fear and have implemented them into their lives, their behaviours, taking your stories and making it theirs?

Begin to really become aware, start really asking “why am I doing this?”, Am I trying to control someone because I feel they need to be fixed but not willing to look at your own neurotic behavior? As a person who spent years feeling a need to save everyone or worse wanting others to change to fit into a box that I thought was how we are “supposed” to be and act, not until I began on this journey of self discovery, realizing being spiritual doesn’t mean I am exempt from things happening to me, it just means I don’t make excuses anymore and when I do I catch myself. That is what awareness is about, we witness our behaviors and can easily begin to see if they are ego/fear based or from love/our higher aspect of self.

I was guided into healing for all the wrong reasons (but then again a higher power knew the motive had to be something that would trigger me to my core to want to pursue it, my children). When I thought there was a problem and thought I could fix it, heal it, heal our family, knowing now if it weren’t for me getting on a healers table to see what it was about before I put my own child on one, the healer the whole time saying nothing was coming up for my child but a whole lot was coming up for me. I remember the comment, “her fears come from you, you are not intentionally doing this but they are yours” and even then I didn’t want to take responsibility, how could I, I couldn’t see it at the time, so I couldn’t receive a message like that. I just wanted my baby fixed, someone help her to feel better. And so it began. What I thought was her journey was mine (so damn smart she knew it at the age of 8 years old, that her mom needed to come to the realization on her own, that I am worthy of love and needed to learn how to love myself).

We will always be lead to where we are meant to be. Not everyone will get “it” in this lifetime but I have a feeling a lot of people that once asleep are waking up and when you are ready, I will be here. Begin your journey of self discovery, become aware of how you may be living unconsciously.

Compassion

Audio- Self Compassion

Listen to the attached audio message regarding compassion. Release your guilt, shame, insecurity, fear and begin to have compassion for yourself and others. Make the changes in yourself to see the change you want in your life and learn to have more compassion in the process. Is the love you know true love or is your love conditional, obsessive, self-sacrificing, distorted, controlling? Are you sending out love that is defined by the programming and conditioning that you learned or are you giving yourself and others Divine Love!

The body (Go within & stay grounded)

Ask Why am I doing this? Listen to the bodies answer!
The body is the sacred temple

Where I am now as I deepen my connection, I love my body even more. Sometimes we can get really caught in the head trip of meditation, expanding our awareness, rising to new heights to connect with the Divine. Which is great and there is nothing wrong with it, since we do want to rise up and expand. Life is supposed to be a joy ride, explorative, we receive guidance, sensations we didn’t know were possible, our senses heightened without taking an outside substance. Just you, your breath and God. But we are here having this human experience in a physical body and although we don’t have to be so attached to form, to be present in our bodies is to be human. Our bodies our 0n this journey just as much as our spirit and our soul in human form.

It took the Universe pulling my awareness back into my body, reminding me that my power is greater in my sacred temple because within, in the Now is where I connect to that all loving, genius, creative, limitless presence and essence (God is not outside of us but within us). In the beginning of my spiritual journey, where I wanted a deeper connection with God, with my higher self, I wanted to understand my purpose, why I was here, how I could serve and I heard the most beautiful voice lean in and say “Go within and you will find purpose”. Go within, not outside but within. And the more grounded I am in the body, the more I do this, hands on my heart, on my body and breath the more profound my connection is with the truth.

I have attached two audios one about our bodies being the sacred temple to connect with the Divine. And the other to listen to your bodies ques. We all have a Yes sensation (for me expansion) and a No sensation (for me contraction), it is our subtle body shifts, our intuition at work. Begin to ask, to listen by feeling what the body is telling you. Not with the logical mind but the mind, the heart, the soul, the connection to the whole you through the body.

Follow your intuition

Writing is one of the greatest ways I can express my creativity, it’s one of the ways I connect with the highest aspect of self. The way the words come out faster than I can write at times. I do a lot of inspired writing, some call it automatic writing. Where you allow the words to flow through you instead of trying to control what comes out. Through mindfulness, meditation and other tools and practices I have tapped into my gift of intuition, given the most beautiful and funny messages at times. And this is something everyone can do, in the beginning I suggest the best way to receive that free flow of inspired writing is right after meditation when you are still in your heart, centered and grounded. As I began my 11th journal this is what was written through me:

Here we go again, another book (journal)? This time I will have it all organized but they are my thoughts, feelings, revelations, messages, tools, meditations, affirmations, my sanity, how do I organize all of that and more? I called in “FOCUS” and heard a voice say “Are you ready to begin?”….I had to laugh because Focus was very….well…. FOCUSED! I hear, amongst other intuitive gifts so I can call in just about any part of me and probably hear, feel or sense that part that has been called on. Compiled all these pieces of self is “me”, in trying to figure out who I am, why I am the way I am, how did I transform from a person that made fun of people like me (judging in all kinds of ways) to now very aware, wanting, needing to know how to take these gifts, creativity, humor, energy and serve. Surrender, let go but also become the co-creator of my life while going with the flow. I hear “Read the books! To create yet another one and not have reviewed 1-10, C’mon, keep this one as the book of tools”.

Again I am clairaudient so I hear parts of me, as well as other sounds with my psychic hearing. But even if you can’t hear with your spiritual ear yet, you can feel, sense or know. Follow your inner GPS system, figure out how you receive that pure loving all knowing intuitive guidance. Do you feel relaxed, ask a question and the answer pops in your head right away, get a tingling feeling on the top of your head, through you body, (hairs on your arms stand up), feel your heart expand, feel inspired a moment of relaxed yet excitement like you have to jump into action. Sit still and breathe, ask your guides or highest self what would yes feel like for me and what does no feel like? Whether you realize it or not you are intuitive, we all are and however you receive your internal guidance, your “YES” when you are in flow, in alignment with all that is, your inner creative joyful, loving, all knowing genius within, when you are connected to the higher power within you, it is the light bulb switch that lights up energies and gives you your full body Yes! Follow it see where it takes you.