Self Discovery

Can turning off our capacity to feel shut down our capacity to heal? Our nervous system is working on over drive, at some point can shut down due to overload?

For the many years that I spent numbing out and chemically functioning through life, either on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, over the counter meds, drugs, alcohol, yet I hid it so well. I was still “functioning” and “responsible”, still doing my job as a mother, wife, an employee, taking care of our home but inside felt lost. As I’ve mentioned before, in 2017 I finally gave in to meditation, (specifically a Kundalini Yoga meditation called Kirtan Kriya; a simple mantra repeating Sa Ta Na Ma while touching my thumb with each sound to each finger tip). I was so desperate to feel change, to feel better, was wanting to move away from substances and also needed to try something different it in hopes that my daughter would try it as well because at a young age she was experiencing anxiety (which really was my undealt emotions). I had no expectations, honestly I was almost wanting to say “ha, see it doesn’t work for everyone”. But out of the blue I began to feel different, calmer, focused, clear for the first time.

The part that comes next not sure everyone will experience but rather quickly my senses began to sharpen, heighten, unexpectedly one night I heard guitar strings strumming out of no where, I would hear my name being called, even heard a choir of angels after a silent 45 minute meditation, flooded with different smells, strange at first but then I began to feel a rush of love, elation, bliss, ecstasy. I had hit that sweet spot where I was in a elevated state of awareness. I felt so connected to God, to the Universe that I couldn’t wait to meditate again. Experience after experience of a mystical loving nature. I began to connect with Angelic energy, my highest self, just an all loving presence and felt so present in presence. It was a feeling that surpassed any drug, as if we know it is possible to reach that point of absolute and we chase it our whole lives through our addictions. And not just chemical/substance abuse but chasing the high that shopping gives us, that gambling, that eating, that relationships, that even stress gives us, to fill the emotional void. Except for a whole year I was able to maintain this feeling even outside of meditation. Not the elation part but a steady feeling of joy, nothing bothered me, I had reached a level of clarity. It was like my Divine mind, heart and soul were all in alignment with God, the all that is almost all the time.

And just like everything else in my life, when I thought I mastered that I moved away from Kundalini Yoga and honestly never tried the array of breath work it provides along with the science to back up why the sound current of the mantras, the hand movements, the breathing techniques help to reprogram our subconscious mind and nervous system to bring us to whole balance.

Prior to the Dark Night of the Soul experience in May 2018, I would say around February, March 2018 I began to have a lot of self doubt, fear began to creep back in, after I became attuned to Reiki and began self healing which in turn made me take a deeper look at what I could no longer run from, the lies I had been telling myself. See although I was doing everything “right” on the outside, I really had not done the inner work (a complete spiritual bypass) and on my soul’s path it required that I have a deeper understanding of my blocks. Kundalini Yoga, is the yoga of awareness combined with Reiki Energy healing there was no more pretending, no more tolerance for the false self anymore. Although I try to stay away from labels now, I didn’t know I was an empath, I didn’t know we are all psychically gifted, I thought only those that were worthy not me were so inclined. As the planet continues to shift we are waking up more and more every day. Our level of awareness will continue to feel uncomfortable unless we do something to truly bring balance to our whole system.

I’ve been told we have the technology to keep up with this technological time we live in, but this technology is within all. Through practices that use the breath, sound, mantra, stillness, movement, ways of working with the body, we can reach a level of awareness of Conciousness that surpasses any computer program because we our Conciousness which is the cloud of wisdom, our heart is the mother board, and our Soul and Spirit are the directors that orchestrate it all alongside God, the light.

April 2020 Card Reading

Messenger of Air- Opinions informed by experience, adherence to dogma, allegiance to a way of thinking or acting, a learned response, subconscious programming, and swift reactions or responses.

The Element of Air has to do with the mind and how we have been programmed to certain belief systems and thought patterns. The Messenger is the catalyst for change and responds to situations and the need for transformation. This holds so true for where we have been and how we are a product of this old thinking. We are now able to broaden our perspective by quickly moving, evolving and ensuring our actions are for the highest good where positive outcomes are assured. “I am reacting to a situation from my past. I have to think about whether I want to do things the old way or respond differently this time.” “I can adapt a new way of thinking and behaving.” We are truly being asked to question all that we have been taught and told right now. To be able uncover what is the truth.

Fool- Enthusiasm

This where we are now. Being asked to trust our intuitive nature, our inner guidance which can never steer us wrong. This will not always follow the path of logic, in fact we are being asked to take a spiritual approach to what is happening in our lives and sometimes that can seem impractical. When this card shows up, it is time to take risk and trust that with faith, anything is possible. Spirit will reveal the signs and symbols along the way and we just need to be open. “I am meant to experience this regardless of where I travel”. Even though it seems as though the world is coming to an end we are on this journey together and it is just beginning. Trust.

Page of Fire- Enthusiastic action, adventurousness, venturing forth, beginning a project, acting on a new idea.

I love this card as it continues to tell the story of where we are headed. The Page card represents new beginnings and change and the Fire Element is the action that we have taken that has lead us to where we are headed (the result of our actions). This card tells me that we are venturing forth to our truest desires in life that are in alignment with our true nature. We are ready to serve our highest purpose aligned with our higher selves. This will not look like what we have always done in the past or what we were told to do but truly a new beginning guided by our co-creation with Spirit. “I am finding my purpose as I take the first step into something new”.

(The Good Tarot by Colette Baron-Reid).

Planetary Shift 2020

The major shift continues to take place across the planet now.  As we have been telling you to prepare for the planetary change by letting go and allowing. Now is the time for a major shift in humanity, a shift in perception, opening people’s awareness, to come together as the collective consciousness. To understand the oneness, you feel the shift and this shift is taking place worldwide. The great release, the great purge of negative energy, energetic emotions, as it is time for the way showers, the teachers, the light workers, the spiritual leaders of the world to take action, to shine their light. To bring humanity together in peace, love, compassion, as your planet needs it now in order for humanity to progress collectively to begin the ripple effect of uplifting out of the darkness and into the light. Remember it begins with you, as you ascend, as you connect directly to divine source energy, the uplifting begins. You are powerful, full of love, compassion. These messages are much-needed now to help the seekers, non-seekers, the one’s that are not yet aware, the one’s that are now being awoken, as we help you to show you the way, you help others.

You must trust, have faith, believe in a better way, to remember who you really are, releasing the limiting beliefs, deep within the subconscious.  Connect to pure source, to bring back the truth of who humanity truly is.  For now is the time and it begins with you, beautiful loving being of light, it’s time for more and more people to be of service to others in a loving compassionate way. And as the wave begins collectively you all rise above out of darkness, density, negativity and into the light, beauty and truth.  Trust, have faith and stand in your truth, let go of the limiting beliefs for collectively the planet is ready for a change. Believe it can be done, help others and show them the way. Call upon us but remember to listen for the guidance within.

Remember all shall pass, the heaviness, the deep purge, once fully released is vibrancy, God connection, clarity, light filled, celebration of life. Through this healing process of humanity, compassion on a deeper level for one another will collectively be shown, be felt, move into the heart, more thinking from the heart, that will uplift and bring togetherness, to feel the oneness, to remember the truth, to know through a new awareness all is well. The falsehood of what is from the past, the false of old beliefs will shift the perception collectively to speak up, speak out, feel the presence of love more easily. People are ready for great change. Be ready, stay heart centered, stand in your truth of who you have always been and there will be hope for a better today, a better tomorrow.

Trust

We are being asked to trust. A message from the Angels and Guides!

Trust and have faith in our creator, in the Universe. Everything happens in Divine Order and Divine timing. Always trust that you are being guided towards and onto the path of your purpose, of your divine mission. We will make sure you see the signs and symbols towards the next steps, towards your dreams and desires. We are always with you, guiding you and loving you. We want what is best for you, for it begins with you, your light, your love and how you spread and shine that light upon others.

Trust in yourself, trust your intuition, your psychic senses, for as you can tell they are blossoming more and more everyday. Opening up to other realms. Release any fear you may have regarding this process, it’s only love that we want you to focus on. Love and joy is what your true purpose is, your mission is to share that love and joy with others. It is what will heal your planet, it is what will keep each other going, humanity as a whole. We are all one, each person has an inner light, yours my dear shines extremely bright for we know it begins with you. Keep going within, connect with source, we will continue to connect with you and give you the messages that you ask for but trust and have faith the answers are within you.

Follow your gut feelings in taking your next steps, as that gut feeling is information we have put there to guide you, a download of information that is within. Trust and have faith and you will feel the life of your dreams. Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now, We love you, We love you, We love you.

One last thing, anytime you feel the urge to create, trust that urge, it us nudging you, have confidence that your messages are great!

Card Reading (9/12/2019)

(The Good Tarot by Colette Baron-Reid)

After my morning practice I asked for a message that is for the highest good of all and I love this story the Universe is telling us in this three card reading. (Card 1: Where are we now, Card 2: What actions are in motion and Card 3: Where we are headed). The perfection of the Universe and how there is a Divine time and order to everything, even what we may perceive as the most insignificant details are significant in their own way. The Universe continues to amaze me and I am constantly reminded just how Divinely guided we all are.

Hierophant (Spiritual practices). This card has repeatedly come up several times recently and has to do with our commitment to our spiritual practices. When we have daily practices that assist us not only in our daily lives to live in more peace, joy and a more balanced life but it also helps to keep us connected to our higher power. When we can co-create with a higher power it is evident in our lives as Spirit/ the Universe will bring forth synchronicity and an added ease felt in life as if everything is going our way.

9 of Air (Shifting negative self-talk to self-compassion, from fear to possibility, a call to faith). This card compliments and goes so well with the first card. As we do our daily practices in connection with the Divine we are taking time to release fears, doubts, insecurities and transmuting those difficult fearful energies into more love, compassion, possibility and deepening our faith. We become more gentle with ourselves knowing many fears are a false story waiting to let go of us. During our practices it gives us space to allow the Universe to assist us with this releasing process which in turn shows us the limitless possibilities that we have access to here and now. And helps us to connect to the truth of who we really are.

Fortune’s Wheel (where Destiny meets synchronicity). This is the icing on the cake and completes the story that Spirit is trying to tell us in this reading. Once again as we commit to practices, we release fear and open ourselves to the loving possibilities to be brought into alignment with our Destiny. Knowing the Universe has our back. This natural give and take, ebb and flow, shows us our commitment to practices, releases the false fearful stories that then we can build on that loving Universal Energetic Momentum where everything seems to fit and we are shown just how connected we are. The dots are so connected and we are in perfect alignment with the All that is, our highest self and our Destiny begins to show itself to us. It unfolds effortlessly and easily. As it may seem almost too easy and becomes so obvious. This is when synchronicity really gets fun and then we are reminded of why we’ve made a commitment to ourselves, the Universe, our daily practices to begin with.

I absolutely loved these messages. The above are my own interpretations of the meaning behind the cards but very similar to what is provided by Colette Baron-Reid. I hope you too are able to receive a little extra guidance today from this reading. And if you would like to see more intuitive readings or are interested in your own card reading comment below or you may direct message me.

Rapid Change

The old, the new and the in between. As we continue to shed the old and integrate what seems to be the new which really is existence. The way in which we are being brought and guided to exist. To be human in “Being” not as much as doing but to be as we were always meant to be. To be is to know as I AM. I am love, worthy of love and not because of what I’ve done or who I’ve done and how I got here but who I Be here and now. Knowing I am worthy of love, able to embody my divinity as I am. This process can have us feeling many different ways. Some elated, some frustrated, clinging onto what was, trying to keep things the same but the energy is rapidly moving, creating change. It can feel disruptive, challenging and chaotic at times. Whatever it is you are experiencing, remember to be in the know, in the now, to have awareness, to be able to say I surrender, I don’t know or remember how to do this Universe, please help me. I allow you to lead me on this path my soul has chosen, to co-create directly with the creative source of all that is. Show me the way!

Then be open to allowing and receiving the guidance. Let go of the grips of control and allow. Stay grounded in your body, connected to the New Earth, centered within your heart space. Instead of things happening to us, imagine them happening through us. Prior to incarnation seeds were planted within and as we live life the seeds begin to burst and blossom. Certain experiences, pre-programmed, inevitable so try to relax into it. Try to enjoy the ride. So when I say surrender, this does not mean give up, it just means let it happen. Allow yourself to be free from exerting unnecessary energy. In fact the more you resist, the more what you don’t want may persist but when you relax, allow, observe, it is easier and we can even find love and enjoyment in moments that can have us feeling uneasy. If we just shift our perception and remember to begin our day by choosing love and open ourselves to receiving love by staying centered. Many of these experiences are a much needed necessary part of our self growth and discovery process.

Take advantage of the Full Moon Energies as they are here to assist and help you. Take a moment to sit, be quiet and allow the streams of light to enter in to assist, to uplift and help in your expansive evolutionary soul process.

Sound Healing Frequency

We are all shape shifting, with the way change is a constant in our lives. Rapid energy swirling all around, the Universe asking us to step it up. Not much that we have to do or that has to be done as we are being done whether we realize it or not. Change and new we all desired, especially since we are a culture of the instant, the “I want it right here and right now.” We asked for it, we pushed it forward and now we are in it and some may not know how to handle it. Making decisions can sometimes have us feeling our judgement is clouded, where do we turn when there are so many options. Options are good, aren’t they? Except now everywhere we turn there is a new way of eating, sleeping, meditating, working, parenting, sexing, relation-shipping, who is right? who is wrong? What do we choose? This is where we have to go within, otherwise we will get lost in a sea of options, sinking like a ship in decisions, constantly wondering did I make the right one.

Sometimes in this dualistic world we live in, we need to know what we truly want by having experiences that allow us to know the opposite of what we want. When we think about it whether we feel it works out or not, it is always working out. As long as we are not so attached to the outcome and believe this is the direction that is needed to take, our soul always knows and even then we still need to be shown what we don’t want to know what we do want.

So many ways to help soothe and heal us during this time of transition. One of the many ways I have found is sound, song, mantras. Human vocal cords, allow the sound to radiate, uplift, heal. Within all is a wave, a current when connected to the frequency (call it God frequency, Angelic frequency, a higher frequency of love, of light). The light connectors, the neurons in the brain begin to fire off receptors and are catching the light, they are in tune and tuning into a frequency that is meant for them. The act of pushing can feel unsure and create resistance, the art of allowing allows the energy of receiving to open up. We become the transmission and transmitters, dialed into the right station for healing, for joy. Meditation, yoga, breath work allows to open the pathways within us to allow our light to flow, fluid, clearing blockages of fear, stuck emotion, things of our past.

As the body and the Universe work in conjunction with the heart, with spirit, it is like the perfect sounding tuning fork of energy goes through the spine (as above so below), our cells, our system to regenerate and make new healthy cells and make our already healthy cells more vital and vibrant. As this occurs our frequency raises our vibration, we ascend into more love and more joy. We can get to a place that even as we are just living, being present, the work is being done internally. As we slow down in these moments be aware of the breath, feel the light as it vibrates within and all around, it reverberates out to your surroundings to find your vibrational match and the Universe brings forth synchronization through events, people and situations.

Going within is not new age woo woo stuff, there is truth, wisdom and science to back it up. But if you do not believe, try it for yourself. Give yourself the challenge of incorporating Kirtan Kriya (11 to 60 minutes a day for 40 days). I chose Kirtan Kriya because it is a super easy mantra and this is how I began my journey of self discovery. This is the Kundalini meditation practice that shifted me in ways I never thought possible. The shifts subtle at first and then BAM it’s miracles all over the place.

Kirtan Kriya (Short 11 minute practice by Nirinjan Kaur) There are also longer versions that can be found on youtube and online.

(I’ve included resources to further read about the benefits of Kirtan Kriya and why it works from other resourceful sites)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prime-your-gray-cells/201606/yoga-and-kirtan-kriya-meditation-bolster-brain-functioning

https://www.3ho.org/kirtan-kriya

Subconcious Beliefs

I have taken a moment to step back even more, to dive deep and do the much needed inner work, a time to really slow down (I didn’t know it was even possible to slow down even more), to be with my family, to continue to exist, be and in this beingness I have found that I am whole and complete. That despite the break from “working outside of the home”, a lot of internal work has taken place. There is no manual to life but when we connect with the true self we are our greatest guide, we can remember our truth and unlearn the beliefs that no longer hold true, no longer work for us, we tap into our intuition and allow The Universal Energy to guide us (knowing now we are the Universe).

I have felt the Universe within, the collective, the ups and downs, the sadness, anger, fear as well as the love, the expansion and through a lot of self love and radical self care have experienced the integration of the Ego, the falling away of the false belief system. Can step back and be the compassionate witness. The ascension process that I’ve heard so much about has literally played out within me from descension to working my way up. I have ascended from inner pits of hell the ultimate fear to heaven the ultimate love. I have never read the bible but my understanding is we are “it”, we are the stories, the stories being metaphors for how we ascend, how we live life, to be the co-creators, the masters of our own lives connected to source. As we all are taken on this journey through ascension there may be some fearful emotions that come up, life may be difficult, or you can ride the wave surrendering the whole way knowing all is here and showing up in your life for you to help you.

Either way, now I understand when I was told by my higher self, the highest aspect of self, my guides and Angels (which are really all layers and aspects of me, of self here to help on this journey of remembering) that I am a seed planter, a way shower, a light worker. I realize I am exactly where I need to be so I can help someone that may be a day behind me, a month, year, etc to help bring guidance and healing into their lives. Realizing with every channelled message written or spoken there is a healing frequency that comes with it. I was told I would heal with my messages, sound, color, in many different ways. But it wasn’t until my breakthrough in May that I now understand what that means. In the midst of it I was told to go to my blog, as I was in extreme fear I began to read and something amazing began to happen, I began to lift up, raise my frequency, I was wrapped in an orb of light. I was being shown part of why I am here now.

The attached audio was recorded a couple of months ago (after a lunar eclipse) but goes so perfectly with this message I am ready to share now. Since then there is so much I want to share about how I have gained so much more inner strength, feel amazing, balanced, free and joyful (and you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff that has taken place, it’s like a test from the Universe to show me once I really truly love myself, have a solid consistent practice that includes Kundalini Yoga, amongst other tools and really committed to my wholeness, the outer world stuff can’t touch me, it no longer rocks me because I know the truth of who I am, my power and my worth).

Thank you for being a part of my journey. I love you! So much more to come. Exciting!!!!

The body (Go within & stay grounded)

Ask Why am I doing this? Listen to the bodies answer!
The body is the sacred temple

Where I am now as I deepen my connection, I love my body even more. Sometimes we can get really caught in the head trip of meditation, expanding our awareness, rising to new heights to connect with the Divine. Which is great and there is nothing wrong with it, since we do want to rise up and expand. Life is supposed to be a joy ride, explorative, we receive guidance, sensations we didn’t know were possible, our senses heightened without taking an outside substance. Just you, your breath and God. But we are here having this human experience in a physical body and although we don’t have to be so attached to form, to be present in our bodies is to be human. Our bodies our 0n this journey just as much as our spirit and our soul in human form.

It took the Universe pulling my awareness back into my body, reminding me that my power is greater in my sacred temple because within, in the Now is where I connect to that all loving, genius, creative, limitless presence and essence (God is not outside of us but within us). In the beginning of my spiritual journey, where I wanted a deeper connection with God, with my higher self, I wanted to understand my purpose, why I was here, how I could serve and I heard the most beautiful voice lean in and say “Go within and you will find purpose”. Go within, not outside but within. And the more grounded I am in the body, the more I do this, hands on my heart, on my body and breath the more profound my connection is with the truth.

I have attached two audios one about our bodies being the sacred temple to connect with the Divine. And the other to listen to your bodies ques. We all have a Yes sensation (for me expansion) and a No sensation (for me contraction), it is our subtle body shifts, our intuition at work. Begin to ask, to listen by feeling what the body is telling you. Not with the logical mind but the mind, the heart, the soul, the connection to the whole you through the body.

We are the Master of life

I AM A Master of Life

It’s time we all become the masters of our lives. Knowing where you are is exactly where you are meant to be. Trust all the experiences that have lead here and now is Divine perfection in action. Review your life, what have you overcome? What and how can you use your experiences to serve and help the greater good? I realize I heal in other’s through creativity and by being a vessel for God to work through me, by taking my own personal experiences to help another. Enjoy the attached audio.